MERRY CHRISTMAS

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WHY A 'SANTA CLAUS'?

You know, I still believe in Santa Claus. That he does exist and like the snowman, is reborn each Christmas. Sound familiar? The reason I have always believed is the way my mother explained him, when my parents had to tell us, so we wouldn't be too disillusioned. Kids are cruel you know. They love to spread their hurt to other children.
So, that Santa could come and bring us our presents, Mom and Dad always sent my brother Bud and I down to our grandparents, to give them their Christmas tree, set it up and decorate it.
By the time we returned home, wow, lo and behold, Santa had come. We missed him again. We sometimes tried to hurry with the tree, but, grandma and grandpa, found a way to detain us. The timing of course had already been worked out ahead of time.
Bud, being 4 years older than me, had already been told. It's amazing that he kept the secret for me. How Bud found out was not how mom planned.
When it was just him, mom and dad would wait for him to go bed and go to sleep. However, that one time came along. He woke up as they were putting out the presents.
He said, "awww, I knew it was you guys." He was very upset to have found out that way.
" Why do grownups do that? To make fools of us kids?"
Mom and Dad tried to explain, but, he was just really so disturbed that parents would purposely lie to their children. I don't remember how old he was at the time. But too young for it. Maybe 4 or 5. Bud was 4 years older than me. But, after I was born, he kept the secret. Which was really amazing, considering his ambivalent feelings toward me.
So when It came time for me to be told, Bud waited to see how I would take it. I did ask Mom why a Santa. I think by the time I had come along, Mom had had time to think of a good answer.
Santa Claus is the symbol of the spirit of Christmas. The manger event is the reason. Santa is for the magic and miracles that can happen. The playfulness Santa is the secular celebration. Magic and wonder. A time of unexpected things. Warmth, love togetherness, thinking of others. a chance to do for someone else.
She explained it much better than that. Her explanation, softened the blow, and I was not disappointed that Santa was not 'real'. But, he is as real as we may want him to be.
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So, that's why I still believe in Santa Claus. To me, he is another way to celebrate .
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YULE-WHEEL

And the wheel turns again. On it spins, another year, another solstice. The stars shine on. Eternally through time and space.
And yet, we are such ephemeral creatures, our existence like mist in the wind.
The star that shone still shines. All we need do, is fine it and follow. Leading us to solace and the light.
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TIME FLIES

Today is our 47th. Anniversary.
We didn't have big wedding. We weren't 'wedded'. We were 'married'. Just the two of us, went to the courthouse. Then across the street to a quiet chapel. Two female clerks were our witnesses.
The bride wore red. (Because it was winter and the dress was a warm knit.) The 'bride'smaid' wore sage green and the 'best man' wore violet.
We didn't tell anyone until after. My parents found out when we went up for Christmas. Hb. sent his Mom a card. My Mother was somewhat miffed. Dad, bemused. My kid brother laughed. Later when my older brother was told. He just said, oh.
I had planned a celebration at the 25th. anni. But, by then, both mom and dad were gone. So, it no longer mattered. Do I regret. No.
My Hb. is my second marriage. Mom made me have a wedding the first time. When I hadn't wanted it. So, been there done that.
By now, I have been married the longest. No big deal. Marriage is only for tax purposes anyway. So, the gov. can be sure they get their full share of our hard earned wages.
But, we've rubbed along rather well.
That first night at home on christmas. Mom and my kid brother had poured rice all over the sheets. I just went to the kitchen and found a jar to put it in. Kept it for years.
I didn't say a word. Ha, ha. My family were surprised. No one ever mentioned it. That's the way we are.
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A CONTEMPLATION

I Love.
You love.
She loves.
He loves.
They love.
What is love?
What is meant
by the word love?
Who loves?
Optimum love.
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SNOW!?!

We had weather today. Real weather. There was: rain, snow, wind, rain and snow. Haven't seen anything like in months. Now we are wearing 3 layers of clothes-in the house, and the therm. says-72 degrees! These residences here are not designed for optimum weather control. They are hot in the summer and cold in the winter. The builder and architect didn't think ahead. I have lived in several tract homes, and you can always tell, they were designed by a man. Designed for economic cost and materials and space. But-- not, I repeat, not designed for convenience.
But, one thing though, the weather is good for the ideal American style Christmas. Love that snow.
Have you ever built little outdoor igloo shaped snow lumieres? Do it this year, it's fun, and what's more, now there are battery tea lites. Won't melt the snow and put out the lights.
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NOW- 'TIS THE SEASON

Used to be: "Have a holly, jolly Christmas. It's the great time of year--------"
I really miss Christmas. I always ignored, what others termed " crass commercialism". Simply because that is NOT what Christmas was about. But, I did take advantage of all the choices available, because of it. Made it easier to find something special for the recipient. Christmas is about bringing the best in people. Being kind and thoughtful about and towards others. Family, friends. Or outright strangers.
And of course, giving us a real reason to reconnect and acknowledge, that is there is something, larger and good out there. A spiritual model for us follow.
Sorry folks, but it does exist, even if someone doesn't except that. If I wasn't so sick all the time now, I would go serve food at the charity kitchens. So, we give food when we can.
So, remember, Christmas is about caring and giving and most of all, Love- spiritual, platonic and agape.
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living day to day

Well, made it past Thanksgiving. So, I guess that's something to be thankful for. No, we don't go out into the shopping crush and frenzy anymore. We ordered from the Internet. I figure that to be equivalent to catalog shopping. Like going back in time, to when we ordered from the Wards and Sears catalogs. So, nothing new, just a rerun. Very retro.
After all this long time, I find I really miss downtown window shopping. Malls just do not make it.
Slogging through wind, rain or snow, that was part of the experience. The malls are without character. They are like warehouses. And malls promote disease. Someone sneezes at one end and it blown by the AC all over the buildings in five minutes. (ok, ten minutes.) Making the place a pest house. besides, the air conditioning always gives me a migraine headache, all that cold blowing air.
The little strip malls are ok. You drive up and get out, to walk into the shop.
By the way, about catalogs. I ordered from a catalog, because they have things one can't find easily anymore. Now, I get one or two new ones everyweek. There may be more now, as people are looking for a way to have income. As jobs are truant.
Our Thanksgiving was: watching the Macy's Parade and a sharing one of those extra large T.V. dinners. I didn't lose it until 6:o'clock the next morning. I count that a 'good' thing.
We already have our Christmas shopping done.
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NEW PROJECT

Since I had finished the silk dress, I was trying to decide what to do next. When I went thru my work box, I found the pieces of this skirt, I had cut out last year. Well, I had sort of an idea to do Christmas. And there this was. Just this past monday, I was feeling fairly well. So, I spent the day sewing. doing as much as I could. Did pretty good, as you can see. Good thing. All I could do after that, was cut the fabric for the ruffle. Then pinned the hem in place, ready to sew, when I have my energy up again.
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To those of you who are not doll or sewing people, I know, to you this is: Boring and unimportant. Well, really, are you interested in what ever I may have to say about, Sarah Palin, Health care, Or if the fact that Oprah is ending her talk show. This blog is about me, who I am and my interests. It's 'person' blog. Not a news blog.
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AMD UPDATE

Well, today I received my fourth eye medication injection. It's a bit nerve racking to get a shot direct to the eyeball. But, the sight in the eye shows very marked improvement. So, it is ok. I can deal with that. I mean, it is not really that bad, but, I'm just sort of a nervous type person. And I will receive a fifth shot in January. Then In February, the Doctor will do an evalulation.
I think it will go well. The treatment is quite expensive.
When I first developed AMD I didn't think anything could be done. But, the eye shots are brand new, and I have "wet' AMD. It is treatable. The "dry" is more difficult. So, That was interesting.
I didn't feel like doing any shopping today. So, we came right home after.
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NO ONE NOTICED

But, they seemed like such a nice person. Yeah, right. Can't you read body language? Didn't you notice demeaner? How about chance remarks?
Oh but, he (she) would never hurt: their wife, husband, girlfriend, boyfriend, child. Pay attention, because let me tell you from my own long life and experience. Anyone is capable of anything at anytime.
So, how does one know who to trust? You should never trust anyone, Especially someone who says, "trust me".
Gee, you must have a terrible opinion of people. Yes and no. Because, let me tell you. Always look out for number one, because no one else is. Always heads up and look where you are going.
Be aware. Always be prepared for anything. Doesn't that make for a very lonely and stressful life? No, does a wild horse looked stressed? They are always aware. But, they live and survive.
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PARTY DRESS

Finally, I have finished the green silk ball gown for Eithne. Just in time for Christmas. She is quite pleased. I began the dress in January. It is a very intricate and detailed project. I could only sew on it in between IBS bouts. I wanted to be sure the dress would be up to my original quality. It is in two pieces. The bodice is separate from the skirt. Authentic to the era.
I don't think I will do another one this detailed for this doll again.
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MEMORIAM

It was lovely
it was sad.
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They walk now in
the light
of the Loving
God.
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IN DARKNESS=THEY WALK

They are lost in darkness,
and can see only the night.
No one sees them,
as they are in shadow.
No one notices, because,
we only see. that which does not
disturb our lives.
Then, when something happens,
they say, I didn't notice.
'I didn't notice',
that's like trying to cross a busy street
without a traffic signal.
When hit by the car,
They remark,
Where did that come from?
Didn't you see the cars?
No, I wasn't looking.
_________________
Yesterday and today--
same thing.
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MYSTIC STARRY NIGHT LADY

Here is my lady witch. I finished her. And colored her in. Our tech. equipment decided to co-operate with us. So, I was able to get a good print to do the color work on. She would made a nice doll. But, I don't make my cloth dolls anymore.
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HALLOWEEN MYSTIC

I didn't feel up to making a new doll for Halloween. I'm really not into the 'holiday' as Americans use it. I prefer something a bit more pastoral.
So, I made up my own mythology for my Starry Night Mystic Lady. She is an original concept and drawing. Albeit, she is not really finished. So, we got our computers to behave themselves for awhile this afternoon and I scanned her in. I do not not want to ink or paint my original, so I printed off some copies onto art paper. I will do those and see how she looks. This is the only witch I have ever drawn. Never had the interest before. Didn't care for the sexist, misogynist versions out there.
So, hope you all had a nice Hallowed 'Een. Don't eat too much of the left over candy.
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WINDYYYYY CITY

It turned windy. No rain for awhile. There was a wildfire near where the big one was last year. No homes lost. With wind, now there are leaves and pine needles all over the place. What a mess.
My Hb. and I are not wind tolerant. We both get headaches, even in the house. Hb. is really bothered by the wind. Makes him very irritable. I think it is left over, from working in airconditioning. Constant blowing all the time you know. Makes you feel a lack of control. Neither of us care for AC. But, luckily this past summer we had only a few days at a time that were hot enough. But, I set it on 79 degrees. worked better at that temp. Not too warm and not too cool. Last year I set the AC on 75 and froze my lungs. So I learned better.
The weather is all that changes. My days are pretty static. Boring.
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AUTUMN LEAVES

Aren't these dishes cute. The novelty and whimsey is so fun. I subscribe to Better Homes and I saw this page. I decided that I 'needed' the bowl and plate. But, you know what? They were not easy to find in our area. My Hb. ended up going to three different Wal-Marts before he found some. I had him only buy the small bowl and the salad size leaf plate. So neat. He also found a pumpkin pattern too. So we have the small plate and matching bowl in that. We have only one place set in each.
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PASSIVE PAST TIMES

This year has been one IBS attack everyday, everything I try to eat gives me a stomach ache. I get so tired. I know, I have said this before. But, forgive me. this is my life. I have been reading some of my vintage Regencies. They are very quaint, compared to the ones now. And those at the time were considered very modernized. I haven't purchased a new Romance in a long time. Just can't relate to the type of story or the girl. The main characters are so insipid and so clueless. Of course the characters are only as smart as the authors.
There is another book we have been reading, that is an excellent background to the Afghan situation. The Book is titled:'Horse Soldiers', by Doug Stanton.
On the weekends. we watch the NASCAR series. We used to have favorites. But, that doesn't work. So, we just watch to see who is allowed to win this week. A lot of the time we do not even watch the entire race. We only watch the last half hour.
When a horse race is broadcast on a regular channel, I watch it. No favorite horses. Just like to watch the horses. Although, the filly, Rachael Alexandra was nice to follow. The owners and trainer have taken her out to rest for next year. She won everyone of her races this year. So she needs a break.
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RAIN

We had our first real rain of the season today. It will rain tomorrow too, and then taper off. The rain storm is really the tail end of the Typhoon Melor. So it was a very heavy rain and high winds. Lots of flooding and serveral bad auto accidents.
It still amazes me, that when we have our first rain it ALWAYS takes people by surprise. They can't seem to remember from season to season how to drive in the rain. They are so unaware, that they feel blindsided. Dumb.
My Hb. and a dr. appt. this afternoon and he had to go out in it. It is not that easy to change appt.s. If one cancels, it's at the least, two months before you can get in again.
He drove carefully and got there and back ok.
The storm will move on tomorrow and we will spend the next few days, cleaning up after the rain and wind.
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SECRETS

Here is a book my Hb. and I have been plowing through. It has small print and detailed info. But, I highly recommend it. This author has written two other books in the same category. If you want to know about how our national security works. I suggest that you read them. Very informative.
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MY ADVENTURE IN CHESS

Chess has been one of the things that rather piqued my interest. It seems so esoteric, complicated and intellectual. It has a certain intriguing mystic to it.
Have you ever thought about the intricacies of Chess and what it would take to learn how to play? And yes, I know the history and origins of chess.
Well, the year I spent living in the city, I had some friends who played chess. Edward and Richard. Max didn't play, but he liked to watch Ed and Dick. They were so serious and argued constantly when they played. They were both excellent players. They also, bickered constantly when they were in a serious discussion. They both used a thesaurus and a dictionary just for conversation. they were both very intelligent. They amazed me.
One weekend when we got together for dinner, Ed asked me, if I would like him to show me how to play chess, to pass the time while Max cooked the dinner. I had expressed my interest a couple of times. They finally realized I was serious. And that's why that day was a good time.
As it turned out. I only played the one game. I chose to not ever play again. Not because it was hard. Not because I lost. Contrary, I won. I beat Ed, who was practically a champion class chess player.
Dick wrote down all of our moves. and monitored all of mine.
I did not make an illegal move. But, I did do many unusual ones. I also made moves with my knights that surprised Ed, Dick and Max.
To start with, I did not move my middle pawns first. I used the end ones. I made a sort of pincer movement. The guys were surprised. I asked,. "is that wrong?" They looked very hard at them and then said, "well, no." But are you sure you want to do that?"
I replied, "er-yes. I do." As long as it is legal."
"Well, ok then."
Ed and I continued to play. I always took my time deciding a move. I never did until I was sure.
The guys thought the game would last a long time as I was supposed to be learning. But the game only lasted an hour or so. I got bored and made my decisions faster. I beat Ed hands down, I went after his queen and bishops. took out most of his pawns.
The guys were stunned. Dick and Ed didn't understand how I did it. They sat down and spent the rest of the weekend trying to figure out what I had done.
I wasn't really sure how I did it either. It wasn't until years later, when I had matured more, when I had an epiphany.
I have never played Chess again. You want to know why. I'm psychic. It is not a fair match, when you can read all the plays the other person is thinking of.
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I only used being psychic for protection. It did not do me any good in school. I had to learn the hard way, like everyone else.
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PUMPKINS

Before pumpkins, they made small lights out of turnips. Unless, turnips used to be larger than what we have now. I like pumpkins, have never had any luck growing them. My Dad did though. He had a garden at their new home when he retired. Although the largest was about ten inches tall and diameter.
Now there are craft pumpkins that don't rot and stink. And are reusable. Also, battery tea lights. Perfect.
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SEPTEMBER

September hath thirty days, and now they have gone. This month was my Dad's birthday. I have not written about my Dad, except when I mention him in a story about something else. I know little about him. He was a very private person. He would talk about the past, until Mom got mad and told him to stop living in the past. He never mentioned anything again. Not even when I asked him about his childhood or his parents. Yet, at the same time, he must have said something occasionally, because, I have always felt I have always known him, all my life and all his life.
He was always there for me. And always wanted the best for me. ^You know, many men don't know how to relate to their daughters. But, my Poppa had four sisters and he was close to his Mother. So, he was sympathetic to women. He was a very handsome man and women liked him for his looks and manners. Even though he was a second son. He was the one his family depended on. Made some difficulty when he married. It was hard for him to realize he had to put us first and and his birth family second. That situation was always needing to be resolved.
My Mom had to be tough on him once in awhile. No, he wasn't 'henpecked'. Mom knew better than that.
My brothers were always jealous of me. They said our parents treated me different. I finally said to my younger brother, of course they did, I'm a girl. Girls always had it harder, because of the social attitude. I did better in school, even though school was not easy for me either.
For my Dad and Mom, getting an education was their dearest wish. But, neither of them got to finish high school. The economy crashed and there went their dreams. So, when they had kids, they hoped and encouraged us.
My Dad was able able to pay my way through college. He was happy to do it. And he also helped some of my nephews too. It made him very happy and proud to do it.
He tended to be too generous to me, yes, I know. He didn't want to spoil me so I had to be careful what I asked for. We were always close. I was never afraid of my father. He never laid a hand on me. The few times I was spanked, Mom did it. Mostly a good scold was enough to set me straight. I hated being yelled at.
Oh, no, Poppa wasn't perfect, he was a kind generous man. He had no enemies, anyone who met him liked him immediately. He made friends easily. I think Mom was quite jealous of that.
Poppa died in October-26-1986. I miss him everyday. As I do my Mother.
Took me a long time to figure out why the intensity of my loss lasted so long. I had lost my 'boosters', my cheer team. The only people who ever really cared for me.
Now that I am a senior, my pain has receded somewhat. I think it's because, I'm closer to them spacially.
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AUTUMN

Autumn has come again town.
Wearing her vibrant multicolor gown.
With her wand she paints the trees,
wearing new colors to catch the breeze.
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I really always have trouble trying to write about Autumn and Fall. Because you see, I lived where there were very few deciduous trees. I lived in the middle of a young pine forest. there was one lone big silver oak over by the mill. One way out back near the ranch fence and there were a lot of oak trees in the school yard. But, the weather seldom seemed to chill at the right time, all we got was brown. Some years, the trees over the mountain on the way to the county seat, we could see trees in color. Only if we hit the time right.
So, when I came to live here, I was able to see some sort of autumn. But, here in the middle of the state, the seasons are a couple of months off from the northern part of the state. So, Autumn comes in December. Lots of color for Christmas that way. The liquid amber trees are very vibrant. And the Gingkos are fairy gold. Oh, love the hawthorns too. All ombre reds and pinks.
Therefore it has always been a little hard for me to write a poem for Fall.
No problem though. Lots of other people have written about it and much better than I.
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LONG AGO

Long ago and gone forever. Only a ghost of a memory. You can not go home again. As for me, that's fine.
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NEW CLOTHES

Here are Eithne and Philanthe in their new dresses. They have taken me almost all Summer to sew them, because I am only able to work between bouts of IBS. They are really simple dresses, if I could they would only take four hours work to make one. Perhaps two hours or less for Philanthe's dress. But, when I am sick, I can not work intensely, my stomach aches too much.
I have been trying to pass time by reading, even that is difficult now.
Also, we have been having some hot weather, and sewing or reading even with the AC is not comfortable to do.
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ELFALINNEA

This is one my princess dolls, I made when I was making my shaped and needlesculpted cloth dolls. She is about 10 1/2 inches tall. Her arms are jointed at the shoulders, but the legs do not walk.I only made two. I do have two that need to be finished, I wish I could make myself get back to them. Her name more or less means": 'White Bird'. She is a very free spirit as she has barefeet.
Her dress is composed of a heavy ivory matt satin with a marquisette and lace over lay. And apricot flowers.
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RAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sunday, we had rain. I almost didn't recognize what it was that was falling from the sky. I seem to have a vague recollection, that sometimes something similar could happen. Finally I remembered, oh, yes, that's right. This is rain.
It rained all night, such a lovely comfortable sound. First rain in months. At least, it came in time to help slow down or put out the fires.
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SUMMER DRESS

I have finally had a few days where I was feeling better and had some energy. I was able to concentrate too. Nice. So I brought out this dress I had began last year and decided to try to finish it. It is an 1860's authentic pattern, reduced for this 9 1/2 inch doll. The style is quite different from I what I have sewn in the past. Even with the directions, I still had to stop and figure out the correct construction method. I finished the bodice last Friday. Finally finished the skirt this afternoon. Very gratifying.
It was very satisfying to be able to make something. Although, I strained my right hand. A semi-serious carpel tunnel flare up. Between, using the mouse, crocheting and sewing. Makes me have to wait on projects while I rest my hand. I even have to be careful how I hold the book when I read. I'm seriously thinking about getting a book stand.
I have not worked on the afghan for quite awhile. Have to get back to that, before Christmas.
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BAKED-NOT FRIED TOMATOES

I promise, this is the last of our tomatoes. Literally, metaphorically or rhetorically. (and I think my spell check is not working.)
Sliced, covered and nicely toasted. He said they were very tasty. I only ate my tomatoes fresh, and as a half sandwich. No more for now. But, they were fun while they lasted.
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LAST HARVEST

It was fun while it lasted. We were not overabounded. But, we did get all the tomatoes we wanted. We are thinking, maybe next year, we won't plant any tomatoes. The apples didn't develope well, and tasted somewhat tannic. But, it has been a dry year and the landscapers had to cut back watering, because we have to conserve our water out here. So the apples had arather punky texture.
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LOSS AND ACCEPTANCE

About the time I feel I have dealt with all the ghosts of my past. something comes along and the door flies open, and out the phantoms come flying. they swirl around. reminding me and taunting me, saying are you sure we are harmless now?
I become overwhelmed again. Why can't you leave me alone? I am an adult now, I am a different person now. Go away!! I left you behind.
Yes, but you have not really faced us to deal with us.
Yes I have. Those things are no longer relevant, Everyone who caused me pain, and grief, are gone and can no longer touch me.
And still, I cannot seem to put them to rest. to convince myself, all of what went on in the past, is, IN the past. It's gone. Done. There is nothing to be done about it. I live here. This my home now. Has been since I left my birth home. That place holds nothing for me.
My true home was my Mom and Dad. But, they are now two plots in a different town. That is where their bodies are. Their souls are free to go and do what they will. I feel them frequently. Mom can check on me more easily now.
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FRANCOISE

Francoise- 12" F.G. reproduction French fashion doll. friend for my wax fashion, Willowby.
She is same size and can wear the same clothes.
This is an evening gown made of silk-metallic crinkle gauze in a light pink. also called" twinkle gauze. The gown is trimmed with a metallic lace. A two-piece style. Very common for the 1870's era. The gown is lined with pink silk tissue taffeta.
Willowby has an extensive wardrobe, so I purchased a couple of extra dolls to help display the clothing.
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HARVEST

TOMATOES!!!!!!!!!!!! and strawberries-sort of.

NEXT TO NOTHING

It has been a rotten summer. I am just not feeling well enough to write. To be all bright and perky, and entertaining. Besides, no one is interested in someone else's bad times. Boring.
Besides, I just had an emotional melt down the other night, life does get to me sometimes, no matter how optimistic I am.
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REALLY CUTE MOVIE

Mamma Mia has been on HBO this month. I wasn't sure if I wanted to watch it. At first seemed like a lot of silly nonsense.
Turns out, it's about the best movie I've seen in ages. Sweet, Mother-daughter movie, love story, girl buddy . And the music is wonderfully performed. Everything fits nicely. ABBA music is classic.
At first, I didn't watch it through, I only watched in pieces, to see what it was about and if it was worth it. After five previews, I sat and watched it through from the beginning to the end. I read books the same way.

A PLAGUE AND BLIGHT

I was just reading the news from the town where the Jr. college I went to is. People are moving up there to try to get away from the crime in the cities. What they don't realize, they are taking it with them. Their kids were the Vandals. And drugs had moved in up the twenty years ago. My brother says there isn't a woman or girl that hasn't gotten hooked. He just stopped looking for a girl friend.
He has a female friend or two, from long ago. But, He just goes without. Safer that way.
An old acquaintance of mine from up there, told me that pot farms have been found way up in the Cascades forest where my Dad used get the timber for our sawmill. Now, that is scary as all h---. Boy, I'd never be able to go for the long walks in the woods by myself that I used to. Some one try that now, they likely could by shot by a marijuana gang member.
I just found out from my cousin Avis that our cousin Audrey and her husband went to Idaho, looking for a safe clean place. But, well, the drug gangs moved up there during the early 1990's. The Law was having an awful time adjusting. No, the gangs won.
Things will only change when the people can be made to realize, drugs are poison. And totally unnecessary. Education is the only thing that will change this situation.
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POETRY -ASSISTED

I couldn't believe it. I found my old textbook we used when I was studying poetry at USJ. I was glad to find I had kept it. I gave away and sold so many of my books over the years.
I also discovered that my poetry is very influenced by Chinese and Japanese styles. Their images are so spare and evocative of what they want to say. The images are so clear, with only the use of a few words.
Very different from English poetry.
Another influence to my poetry, is: e.e. cummings. All in small letters and the letters dance around or across the page. stunning.
I also use popular music for some of the rhythms. Music helps with finding the words to rhyme. That is left over from my square dancing days.
I have not written much poetry lately though. No inspiration.
Anyway, if you can find this book or one similar, it will be a very good reference to help you understand how to compose your poetry.
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FIRST HARVEST

Ah, ha. We have our first tomatoes. There are more developing color. I thought they were late this year. But, I went back and checked last year. Last year they were late. We only picked the ripe tomatoes in August!
The ones last year were tastier. I think they were Heritage. These don't have much flavor unless we salt and season them. Oh, well. They are home grown anyway and that is the special part. Hb. bought the plants as an assortment. There are six kinds.
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MIRAGE

With fairy tales
we fool ourselves.
and try to
Dream our dreams.
We lull ourselves
into believing Life,
is what it seems.
But, Life is always ever
comprised of a,
mirage of lies,
We shatter our hearts
without exception
upon the ramparts
of sorrows and deceptions.
Then slowly come to realize,
of smoke and shade,
everything is made.
Reality is but a charade.
**********************
Orig. Poem by CGZ
July 2009
-------------------------

PRETTY IN PINK

I did a story about my desire for a tea set. Tea sets seem to me to be an epitome of elegance and refinement. I had finally found one in doll size long ago. But, I still wanted a people size one.
When I was still in a social circle, I purchased a lovely English teapot. And I only collected an assortment of teacups. Because, when serving a small group, it was easier for everyone to keep track of their own cup. The cake plates were assorted too. For the same reason. My Friends and guests thought it very distinctive and creative. I always do the unusual.
When I worked in the flower shops, Teleflora came out several years with really neat teapots. And yes, I had to have one of each year. Overboard!!!!!!!!
However I ran out of cupboard space and the we had to move again, so I sold all of them, except my original English pot.
Then I received a temptation catalog. You know the kind that has all sorts of needful things. I have a real passion for porcelain. I just love beautiful things. And there, in that catalog was this exquisite So Rococo tea set. It came in pink or blue. Pink is my color. And the set is perfectly useless because of the placement of the handles on the cups. I looked at it, thought about it. I said, you silly, you just sold all your tea pots. Notwithstanding, Now you want a tea set? Yes, it was so speaking to me. Well, I didn't get it, at least not yet. We were still able to go to antique shows and that year, one of the dealers had this set. Both of them. Yes, collectibles are allowed at Antique shows, but they do have to be labeled as new and as collectible. I dreamed, OK.
So, come time to tell Hb. what he could get me for Christmas that year, I pulled out the catalog and showed him the tea set. He teased me about it, then took the catalog so he could order the set. Nice. One of the nicest, most elegant Christmas presents I ever received.
So, here it is. Displayed on the top of the bookcase dollhouse. Along with a pair of Red stamp Japanese 18th century style porcelain figurines. I purchased them new when I was 17. The small set are German, purchased from eBay 10 years ago.
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AFGHAN-Cont.

I had gotten tired of working on the afghan. Because my hand became afflicted with a case of carpel tunnel. So, I left it to rest awhile. I have also developed a sewing carbuncle on the first joint of my right forefinger. II developed the finger bump long ago from all the hand sewing I used to do. It kind of goes away when I stop using it. The carpel thing isn't new either. Got my first case 40 years ago. Soaking in warm water and lots of hand cream massage eases nicely. I don't just massage my hand, I massage my arms too, full length, because the entire arm and hand are involved. Never had to go to a dr. about it. Dr.s don't know diddlely about how to treat carpel tunnel syndrome. I had a friend go through the operation. It was worse ever after. She had to quite work and go on disability. Talk about a mess.
Anyway, I learned to do my hand work in short spurts, so I could rest my hands periodically.
I am crocheting the edging around all of the squares. When that is done, they will be sewn together into the afghan as a piece.
********************************************

WHAT?!! AGAIN!!!!!!!!!

Well, I guess the people I went high school with, got lonesome or something again. They are putting on another high school class reunion. Honestly, if they want to party, do it without us. Or at least me. No, I didn't return the announcement. Not in this lifetime. So, Sunday, the phone rang, good heavens, it was my friend Harold. "Hey, didn't you return the invite?".
"No, of course not. Really."
Harold thought he could tempt me by saying, " don't you miss your old stomping grounds?"
"No way, My stomping grounds were the city, and also where I live now".
He tried a couple of other tacts, finally I had to tell him.
"Harold, I was only born up there, I live here". He didn't understand. I had to repeat it, with an emphasis, "I was BORN there, I 'LIVE' here". He finally got it. (up there, I was a dead person walking, my heart, my soul, my mind, my intellect were starving to death.)
I then changed the subject, and got him to tell me about himself, all the changes up there. But we hung up still friends.
I did go to two reunions, because a friend and my cousin Avis begged me. Bad choice. Both times were complete disaasters. So, never again.
There is nothing up there that calls to me. In fact there are nothing but ghosts of
a lot of awful memories. Talking to Harold and being reminded of all that, the load poured through the cracks and almost overwhelmed me. After that phone call, I am still trying to exorcise myself of all those ghosts again. (ugh. shudder)
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SMALL THINGS

I just can't seem to get back to my afghan. I was afraid this would happen. But, part of the reason is, that my eye is really warped and it is is difficult to focus. Right where I need to see, it is blurry and double image. It also interferes with my reading.
It has been hot here for a few days and I have not been bothered by my IBS. I have been hungry for vanilla ice cream for a month. So we went to Walgreen's and bought a pint of lovely vanilla. It tasted so good after a hot day. So smooth and so creamy. I haven't eaten any since last summer. Last summer, I was able to eat ice cream for a month, before everything caught up to me again.
My roses were doing so well this year. But all of the flowers were fried by the sun.
We have tomato plants this year. We are still waiting for fruit to ripen. Tomatoes are a fruit you know. Actually a berry.
************************

JUST IDLING ALONG

Haven't been doing much. Been sick as usual. Try to work on getting a day or so, that I may accomplish something. But, I have discovered something. Very disconcerting. The very things I want to do. Desire to do, have become: 'HAS TO DO'S'!! Now that is not good. Isn't that the absolute pits. Now I have to figure a way around that conundrum. Or is it a dilemma? What ever, it is a nuisance.
I had ordered the catalog from Lion Brand Yarns, I looked through, and finally figured out a yarn, that just might work as trim to finish my afghan. So, since I can't get out, I made some little post-it arrows and indicated which colors and which yarn, that Michael's might have. My Hb. bravely went shopping. Well, as usual, they didn't really have what I was looking for. But, Hb. picked 0ut three skeins, he thought maybe I could use. We do have a different color sense. But, I took that in consideration. So, I am using the 'Homespun' yarn in 'Mixed Berries'. Close enough.
Our angels had helped him make a suitable choice. But, now I have not worked on the project much.
Hope I can get back to it, before I lose interest.
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BOOKS!!!!!!!!!!!

I have been browsing Amazon for something new to read. Goodness, there must be more than hundred new books out, on all of the recent archaeology finds. What to do, what to read first. I did buy a book titled; The Horse,The Wheel and Language: How Bronze Age riders from The Eurasian Steppes, Shaped the Modern World . I thought it would have more info on the development of language. However it is more about all of the the new finds and ties between different tribes. Very little about language. There was more in 'Black Athena'.
I did find a book about: 'Our Magnificent Bastard Tongue; The Untold Story of English', so, I may buy that one next. Because, after all, English is a mixed bag, words borrowed from a great many sources. That's why others find it very difficult to learn. Such as: 'i' before 'e', except after 'c', also as in 'neighbor and 'weigh'. But, all one needs do is remember the rules. But, people hate rules, so they ignore them and commit all sorts of grammatical crimes and misdemeaners.
I'ved always loved History, of all categories.
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BIRTHDAY GIFT

Mom's birthday was in May, It always got tangled up with Memorial Day and Mother's Day.
Here is a story about a gift.
*****************
I do have a couple of other anecdotes to tell about. Not sure which one to relate. They both are precious to me.
Well, I will use this one, because it is related to a Mother's Day story I wrote last year on my other blog.
Another time when we were in the city and were in our room after a long day.
I turned to Mom and said, " Mom? Would you like it if I used your first name when I addressed you?"
She was sitting on her bed getting ready for bed. She, sort of took a flinch, looked down, then turned her head to look at me sideways, then she replied, " Why ? Does it embarrass you to be seen with your Mother?"
I said, " What? Oh, my, no!" "That's not it at all. I am so lucky to have a Mom like you, both Mother and friend." (or something like that. This was a ticklish idea I was going to present.)
" I know how much it has always meant to you have your own person, your own identity. Apart from being 'Mrs.' and 'Mom'. And you tell people it's ok to call you by your own name. "Down here no one knows us, so there would be no one to criticize us for me using your name. You would have the chance be just yourself."
Mom looked at me for a moment, then turned her head and gazed down. She gave the idea some long consideration. I wasn't sure what her answer would be.
I was hoping she would say yes. Because I thought it would make her happy. I could see the emotions playing across her face as she contemplated my offer.
Then, she took a little breath, turned to look at me. She said, "No, I have only one daughter to Call me Mother. there are a lot of other people to call me by my name. But, only you and your brothers to call me Mom".
She knew and I knew what she had surrendered to pass up my offer.
I walked over to her, and sat down on the bed and hugged her. I let her break the hug first. Although I could tell when I felt her relax her arms, when to let go. So, it was mutual.
So, I got up and went to the other bed and got ready to go to bed.
We never spoke of it again. It was just between us.
It was too precious a thing.
*****************

PAPER HORSES

The year I was 12, Me and two cousins had a time of make-believe horses. My cousin Avis was the one with the great imagination. to me, She was so magical. We didn't have figurine or toy horses. There weren't any made at that time. Except for a few plastic ones. This was way before Breyer went into business. We were adults by then. Whenever, I saw the Breyers, we would have been crazy for those. So, what we did, was find pictures of horses, copy and color them. We each had at least twenty horses each. We even badgered Audrey's older sister, who could really draw. draw a few horses for us. She was out of high school and working. So, we were quite greatful to her. Oh, she's the one who drew the heads for our stick horses.

Anyway, Avis, Audrey and I had a lovely year, playing horses. If the weather was bad, with paper horses we could play in the house. if the weather was good, sometimes we would set up ranches on a small rise near Audrey's house. or we would play with our stick horses. When a horse wore out, we would beg and scrounge cardboard to make the heads from. I think I even badgered my Dad to ask Mr. Bethel the big store owner in town, to see if he had any boxes he was going to throw away. He did. He thought it was cute about the horses. I only asked once. I had gotten a big box. enough for several heads. We kept my Dad busy cutting sticks for us.

The time lasted only a few months. But as I said. It was a memorable time. I think it meant more to me than the the other two though. I still have my paper horses, I wish I had someone to pass them to. My cousins, when they had children passed them on. The toys are long gone.

Here is a page of a few of my horses. I may end up making a memory book about them and glue the toys in with a story about that time.

---------------------------------------------

MEMORIES OF DREAM HORSES

Well, I was sorting through a box of 'stuff'. and lo and behold, I found these two treasures from my childhood. The year I was probably 12 years old. My two cousins and I were heavy into horse dreams. My cousin Avis and cousin Audrey. We were so into the fantasy. A time lost later and never to be recovered. Just a dimly remembered dream. The school districts were redefined. Audrey went to an elementary school. and Avis and I went to Jr. High school.

These are two favorite heads from the two stick horses I played with. I originally had about six. Mom made me give them to my younger brother when he demanded them. But, I was able to save these two. Hid them away in the bottom broken drawer of the chest of drawers in my bedroom.

Oh, the red one I named, 'Big Red'. The black and white one I named, 'Devil'. Notice the red ring around his eye. I must have read a story about horse like that.

I just located again them after all this time. Haven't laid eyes on them maybe for a good 20-30 years. I will have to write to Avis and tell her.

---------------------------------------------

STALLED

I have all of the squares made for the afghan. I laid it all out on my worktable , and worked out the pattern. I still have to choose the color for the final trim and edging. There are 42 squares. I petered out. And, yes, I have left over yarn from the squares. I could make chair seat covers I suppose. the squares that appear orange, are really antique gold. The almost white squares are sage green.

As soon as I can get myself in a condition to go to the craft store, I can finish the thing. Actually it went faster than I thought it would.

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HOW DOES YOUR GARDEN GROW

I have had a very pretty garden this year. Amazing really. Hb. has been tending it regularly And it shows. The best year for the roses. This a photo of the rose: Parfait. Lovely fragrance too.

DR. VISIT

Well, I had to go see my ophthalmologist yesterday. The AMD spot kept ruptering. And the spot was moving into my pupil. Makes me kind of see double. I can see the spot when I look at a plain background or close my eyes. Dr. Kim confirmed what I saw. So, I asked, now what ? He said, it needs medicine. You have that ?
Yes.
What does it entail?
A shot right into the eyeball.
Ackk! (small scream and a shudder.)
Dr. asked, you want to come back tomorrow?
No way, do it now. That way I won't have time to think about it.
So they numbed my eyes with all sorts of stuff.
I still felt the shot when it was injected. Ouch.
But, it was quick. and over.
There was some stinging. But, I had ice in the car, because the day was warm. So on the way home, I held a compress to the side of my eye. ( that was permissable.) And before we arrived home, the hurt had faded. Just some sort of stiffness. I kept the patch on until almost morning. I took it off to clean the gunk out of the eye. So far, no complications. I see Dr. Kim in a couple of weeks.
***********************

BLUE SKIES

nO RAIN. nOT A GOOD THING. bESIDES THE FIRE IN sANTA BARBARA, THERE WAS A FIRE IN THE hENRY COE PARK. jUST SOUTH oF US. tHERE WAS A FIRE THERE TWO YEARS AGO. nEARLY LOST THE ENTIRE PARK, BUT, THE FOG CAME BACK. Fire season begins early.
Going to be hot the next few days. We are hoping to not have to use the AC.
I left the caps lock on. Well, I'm not going to retype it.
I have all the squares made for my afghan. Now, I have to go buy the contrasting edging yarn. I'm hoping to find a soft yellow in a soft texture bulkey. I was able to crochet, even if I wasn't feeling that well.
This year our garden came up very nice. Even nicer than last year. But now the heat will shrivel everything. And my Peppermint Stripe rose bloomed the best ever.
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THE SILK SKIRT

Here is the skirt for Eithne's dress. I am working on it between bouts of IBS and crocheting afghan squares. I have Eithne standing where she can watch the progress. I have always been slow. Because I used to have debilitating migraines. They went away as menopause came on. So now I have IBS. If it isn't one thing, it's something else.
Because of my eyes and hands, I had to forego making the hand gathered matching ruffles for the skirt. So there is a lace ruffle with rosebud trim. The bodice trim will match.
*************************

GETTING THERE

Eithne is a little perplexed as she looks over my afghan squares. There are now 35 of them. Only 14 more to go. Even though I still have to crochet a contrasting color around each one before I stitch them into the final product. Eithne is hoping It will be soon, but I tell her, maybe the whole thing won't be done before August. OH!! She is tired of the half and half thing she has on.
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SUMMER ENTERTAINMENT

Carrot Gone Wild.
Isn't this funky. See the plant in the foreground. We planted carrots last year. None developed. But, this one lasted and we have just let it grow. It is four feet tall. No, we don't expect carrots. We just want to watch it and see what happens.
Homemade entertainment. Hah, ha.
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MAYDAY

It isn't raining rain,
It's raining Violets.
Since there wasn't much rain in April.
May is giving it a try.

QUEENS

I just received this book in the mail. I ordered it from Amazon. The seller was in England and it came in a week!! I have had itmarked for three years, hoping to find a good discount. the book came out in 2006. Finally I decided to get it already. It is an expensive book, hard bound all color. A museum quality.
It is a compendium of all known queens of Egypt since the beginning. Fascinating. I will spend lots of time studying. I am very much an Egyptophile.

AFGHAN SQUARES

Eithne taking a look at the finished squares. 18 down, 31 to go. Eithne has her tape with her to check and see if the squares are coming out a unform size.

The flowered skirt is for one dress and the green top goes with the green silk skirt.

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WEATHER REPORT

The first part of the week. We had very warm temperatures. Summer like. What was nice, I could sleep without covers. Sometimes the weight of blankets is just so uncomfortable. Then the fog and northern front moved in. Back to the 60's again. Temps, that is. Changing weather always make me sick. I have been sick all week. I had to cancel an appt. to get new glasses. I hate seeing double and it is even worse with my AMD. Sometimes life is just too much with me. And it's hard to deal with. I can't sew, but, I have been able to crochet on the afghan. I have 14 squares made. Only 35 more to go.
Hb. has been going to the craft shops to research yarn for me. About what is available locally and then I will have to see what I will have to order from the 'Net. I am using all varigated yarns for the afghan, and some of the colors I need aren't made right now. I began with one skein of 'Rosy Mist' by Lion Brand yarns for Vanna White. It's the line: 'Vanna's Choice". That line only has five colors in multi color. So, I am getting other colors in the other lines. Although, I am finding that the size-4 yarn does have a slightly different weight in each line. Interesting.
I was in real need of a new interest. Although crocheting is an old interest, that was just biding it's time, waiting for me to find it again. Like an old friend.
************************************
Scroll down to, April-6. and you will see the beginning of my project.
--------------------------------------------------------

ORANGE DREAM

Isn't this lucious. This is the first rose this year. It is an orange rose. I am not sure what it is named. We have two orange roses. But, the tags have come off. One was 'Mojave'. This does look like the colors of a Sedona sunset, doesn't it? Has a lovely fragrance too.
*********************************

PROGRESSING --SLOWLY

This is the skirt to the silk dress I am trying to make for Eithne. The spot on my retina,of the right eye, I think has grown a little. And makes it difficult to focus. So this may be the last doll dress I make. Right now, I am working to get the hemming done. After that, comes the trim. However, the dress may have to be left plain.
I am going to call my doctor tomorrow, so he can take a look at my eye. The last appt. he said the spot looked stable. However, macular degeneration is an iffy thing.
********************************

NO MUSIC

I seem to have dropped my tambourine.
under the sofa it rolled,
where it can't be seen.
So there it lies away from my eyes.
and I do not want to go there.
who know what sort of thing
has it's lair.
If I stooped down and looked under,
what would there be,
I wonder.
So, best the tambourine
is for now left.
Because, I am not bereft.
I will just wait for the thing,
My music to return.
By then, I will have found a rhyme.
It will be a better time.
*******************************
It's not Browning. But, I think it's fun.
Original Poem by: CGZ
Copyright:April-2009
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GHOSTS OF EASTER PAST

I rather miss having someone to to dye Easter eggs with. My older brother and I used to make on awful mess making eggs. There used to be decals and waxpencils to draw with. We would save a few eggs fpr the last, because Bud would mix up the colors and make icky tones to color some eggs. Drab, and eggplant, goose green, blood brown. Bleh! I always preferred pastels and brights. But, boys will be boys. A lot of the time Mom could hide the eggs outside. Many times in the snow. Sometimes, our dog Tony found the eggs before we did. He thought the eggs were just for him. Bud and Tony always split the loot. I ate mine myself. After about four eggs, I would give the rest to Mom and she would make salad. That was her and Dad's share. It would about a month before we could eat any eggs again. We rather got "egged" out.
We always had an Easter Party at our country school too. Sometimes with snow, sometimes without. Hated it, when there was snow. You know, I believe that maybe the last year or two. What we did, If it snowed, was that everyone brought an empty basket and made an egg to to give to each kid. Then we would exchange cards and eggs. So that made up for not being able to hunt eggs. That way we did have a nice Easter. Oh, yes. We decorated the blackboard and windows with Easter things. Bunnies, and eggs. cut out of colored paper. Things like that We would make small baskets of paper too. Those only held one egg though. They were just for fun.
After I was older, I colored Easter eggs with and for my kid brother. He was rather spoiled. You know, being the youngest is rather like having four parents. always someone telling you what to do and not do. Dave is 10 yrs. after me and 14 yrs. after our brother. Dave has always resented that. Typically, he always wanted to grow up too fast. Just him. Bud and I were content to take time as it came. Life was different for each of us.
I didn't get to make eggs with any of Bud's kids. Oh no. Paulette was too selfish for that. The only time she would bring the boys out to let us see them, was when she wanted something.
My younger brother has two boys. Different Mothers though. I don't think I got to make eggs with Ron. But, We got play together a lot. I mean we got to spend a lot of quality time together. And Dave's younger boy, also, Dave (but not junior, different middle name.) I was able to spend many Easters with him. We made many eggs together.
Since my Dad died, they have all drifted away. I tried to remain connected. But, you know it has to go both ways. So, I guess the connection was not that strong after all.
I believe I may have only attended one Easter service. Very special. Will write about that later.
*************************************************

The picture is of my basket of Eggs by Peter Carl Faberge' for The Franklin Mint. I have several Of the P.C. F. designs for The Mint. They are all quality items. I don't know why some people find them odd.

****

GRANNY SQUARE

This is a picture of a new project. It is the first Granny square I have made since way before I was married. I decided I wanted to try and make another small afghan, maybe similar to the first one I made. That is the yarn I purchased last Thursday. I thought perhaps pink would inspire me. I do not have a pattern to follow. I just went on the internet and found some pictures and counted stitches and rows. I do have a bit of a problem remembering how to advance to the next row. So, I rip out a bit. But, I work it out as I go along.
The first little afghan I made, I used yarn that I had left over from other projects. Mom had told me to go out to the store room and go through some of my junk. And decide what to keep and what to throw away. Gah! What a chore. Well, I came across the box of yarn. I thought, what am I going to do with this? There really was a lot. I didn't want to just chuck it. So, I put it aside, and continued. Later, I took the yarn into the house. Mom, asked me what I had and I told her. "I guess I will see if there is enough for a small afghan". Mom replied,"humm, Ok."
I did get that project made. It came out more laprobe size. But, know what? I had to buy extra yarn to finish the thing. Came out short a few squares. And also the type of yarn to crochet it together!!!!! Hah! I ended up with some yarn left over.
Found out, that's rather par for the course.
When my parents moved to their new place, Mom kind of did the decor in a country style. So, she asked me if she could have my afghan to drape over the back of her new sofa. Well, what could I say? She was my Mother. It graced the back of the sofa as long as she lived. After she died. It disappeared. I have no idea where the afghan is or what happened to it.
Oh yeah, now I already have four banker boxes of yarn, accumulated over the years from various projects. HA,ha. But, none were suitable for what I have in mind. Isn't that just the way it is?
What I'm working on now may just end up as a pillow only. Because, I think I will need at least 72 squares minimum. For a lap robe.
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A DAY OUT

Finally. A nice day. The 4Th. I had a dental appt. Getting a cap on a tooth. So, far it has gone OK. Then I had Hb. bring me home so, I could eat a bit. Then the TV cable went off. We had to wait until it was fixed. We had planned to go back out. They had no idea when the cable would be repaired--so-drat. We had to stay home and wait. Or there would not be any TV until the next day.
This the first time I have been able to go out in months, other than the doctor or dentist. ever. The cable was repaired by 4:PM. So, we went out. We had so been looking forward to going out. It was a lovely Spring day too. Actually it has been nice all week.
So. first, we went to a fabric and craft store I have been wanting to go to for months.
At the fabric store, there wasn't much of a selection. Because, people aren't sewing much. Mostly quilt fabrics. Quilt fabric are nice. But not as finely woven as dress material. However, I found two pieces that would do. One in blue and the one in pink. I purchased a skein of worsted weight polyester. I want to try and make a Granny Square Afgan. Similar to one I made very long ago. It may end up more a lap robe, than an afgan. Also, a 3yd. spool of Sage color ribbon. Just what I was looking for. Fairly successful shopping. Am usually not that fortunate.
I decided, I just might have the energy left, for the book store. Well, I did, sort of. But, I didstay too long. I was really tired after standing in line to check out.
I did manage to find three books of different content. The first is a book of directions for knitting tiny animals. The Geographic has the lastest about Hatshepsut. She is one of my fav historical heroines. The other book is a new edition of short stories by my favorite fantasy authors: Patricia McKillip. Her writing is so amazing.
Well, I made it back to the car and said to Hb. Ok, that's it. Go home now. He was most aminable.
I was tired for two days.
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PHILANTHE AND NEW FRIENDS

Here is a new picture of Philanthe with her new friends. Even though. when we see the horse, we see a rocking horse. But, in: 'real life' she is a grey mare named 'Silvermist'. The dog is a female named 'Lady'.

Since I had another bout of IBS, Hb. has been helping with the dusting and such. So, I have been able to play with some of my toys as I change and rearrange things. We do just a little each day. No, hurry.

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A DREAM- UNREALIZED

Since I go nowhere anymore nor do anything. All I have left are memories. No more dreams.
Our ballet company is presenting five performances of 'Mid-Summer's Night's Dream'. In April. My very favorite Shakespeare play. And in ballet form. Two for one. But, am I able to go? No. I am so sorry for myself. The last ballet We attended was 'Sleeping Beauty' in the city by their ballet company. Back in the late 80's. That is a wonderful corps. Such exquisite dancers. (Oh, boy, that IS another story.) Ours is a very good company too. They are in financial straights because of the economy. Aren't we all? But it's my health, not finances that keeps me from being able to go. Sigh.
Oh, I did not at all care for that movie that came out. Callista Lockheart ruined it. She was very mis-cast. Although Kevin Kleine's interpretation of Bottom was very original and sympathetic. I usually do not care for that character. Kevin made him a romantic rather than a vulgar rustic. All rustics are not vulgar. They are just plain simple people, who live their lives totally un-insulated from all of 'the slings and arrows of everyday' fortune.
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This is a picture of Titania and Bottom after he had been transformed to the donkey.

SPRING

I forgot to do a Spring entry. Oh, well. We had two days of Spring in between rains. But, we very much need the rain. We are in our fifth year of technical drought. We have been asked to try to cut our water use by 15%. Hb. and I have been careful with our water use since the first bad one, maybe about 30 years ago. If we go down much more. We won't be using very much.

We had some rains over the weekend. However, no rain for the next 7 days.

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Two of my tulips were able to come through and give me two blooms.

WHAT'S UP

I haven't done much. Except go to Dr.s. First off, last November, I woke up one morning, and noticed an odd anomaly in my right eye. Kind of a funky curved line in my eyesight. I thought, uh, oh. What's going on here? I waited to see, if it was a temporary thing or not. Then my IBS kicked up and I was too sick to go anywhere. Well, thank goodness I subscribe to several women's magazines. Because in the December issues there was a a full page bulletin about AMD-age-related maccular degeneration. I read that in great dismay. So I called Kaiser, where I have my health care, and after a difficult time, finally got an appointment with an opthalmologist. Well, yes, turns out I have the beginnings of AMD. A blot on the left side of my right eye. Almost in the direct line of my eyesight. There goes any sewing or needlework I want to do. Also, gets in the way and warps things when I try to draw.
The first doctor sent me to the main Kaiser to a specialist to confirm. I had an appt. with that specialist Friday 6th. And for now it has not grown much. He will see me again in June.
AMD has no cure. I also have the beginnings of cataracts too. Those can be helped.
Then, I have dental work to be done. I just had a root canal on a front tooth. Now the cap to be done.
So, that's the update to my life. Exciting? Humm?
Winter wasn't cold enough, so my tulips didn't come up and we only had two daffodils. We usually get at least a dozen. Although we did have 7 Callas so far.
I have to give up the Gerber Daisies. The snails and slugs love them and positively thrive on the snail bait.
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SPRING DRESS

I have the second dress finished. Now I feel like I can go back to the green dress for my other doll. And yes, this dress is all hand stitched.

THAT'S ENTERTAINMENT!!??!!????

I finally had to come to the realization, that my choices for TV programming had boiled down to only two. It is either cooking or crime! When it comes to those so-called reality shows, I do not even consider. They are about really stupid people getting on TV and showing their ignorance and idiocy.
So, after about 50 years of watching TV and liking the content. I find myself just turning the set off for hours at a time. I sew, draw, sleep or do small things that need done. Visit with my Hb. Do some organizing. Never thought I would go without the TV.
There has been a study done that says there are more older people watching TV. Mainly boomers who never watched much before. And they really like those incredibly stupid reality shows. EGAD!!!! They will never know about some pf the great shows that came before.
I remember the rants fron the TV critics during the 50's and sixties. HAH!! Wonder if any are still around now.

GREEN SILK DRESS

This is a design I drew for a dress I am sewing for my little fashion doll. I am having a bit of a time with it. My hands sometimes don't want to do what need them to do. The picture is of the page in my journal, where I am keeping a record of what I make this year.
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MARDI GRAS

Now, I am not fixated about the Mardi Gras. We did go once. Back in 1977. It was great. I think though, that that was the last time The celebration was safe to attend. We had a lot of fun. Saw a lot of super costumes. ate too much rich food, and really enjoyed the sights around town. We even got to go out to a real working plantation. I think it is still around. Our travel agent had gotten permission for our group to attend and observe, a real Crewe party. We didn't mingle, but had to watch from a balcony. Although, what was nice, some of the main crewe members came up to talk with us. And to show us there costumes. I was totally delighted. I don't have have photos, as we don't do that. Because, well, other people really are not interested in seeing other people's vacation pics.
Because of the type of diary I was using back then, I never made any drawings or decorations in the books. No room. And all of this collage and altered book craft wasn't around. Even with my now using just the school style composition books. The first book, I began in June-1997. I only used as a straight journal. I didn't write much. I used that book for ten years. But, during the last two years, I began to decorate and do drawings and illustrations in my Journal, as I now call it. Therefore as I had never yet wrote a real entry to Mardi Gras. I finally got aound to it this month. So, even though Tuesday was " FAT TUESDAY'. I went ahead and made my collage and entry today. I think it came out, quite evocative of the celebration.

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