Sunday, May 19, 2013


I  usually didn't agree with Neil about that. I was alone mostly.  I had my mom, dad and brothers.  but, no friends. no one to play with. 
I lived in books.  no 'shilo' even. 
we lived out in the country.  no neighbors. just a few relatives.
after I left and went to college. I made a few friends.
then I met  Dale.  we were together fifty years. he died. now, I am alone. no one.  only my home care.. .boring.
four out of seven days----alone. I can't see well. so the occupations I used to have, I can no  longer do.
long gray days. empty, empty. for some one creative, it's death.
TV and a computer. are all I have.
absolutely pathetic.  Life, meaningless. no life.  semi-disabled. can't leave the mobile  without help.  have no help.
why get old.  there is nothing to look forward to.
don't suggest anything. I've  tried   many things. not eligible  for anything.   just sit here, molder  and fade away.
am I sorry for myself?   yes.  am I depressed? yes.  there is a lot of reasons.
I live in town.
I have never felt so isolated.

I agree with Neil now.