Friday, December 30, 2011


My husband died Tuesday afternoon. After a two year illness. He had ALS. Worse than cancer. with cancer, there is a chance. ALS----nothing. You watch them diminish. Fade away, losing everything there were. Ending up in a bed, incapacitated in every way. I sat by him, seeing his breath become slower and slower, becoming more pale and cold. as the blood drained into his body. Lying there, gone from me forever.
It was bad, when I first lost my Mother. Then my Dad. Really I cried for ten years. I couldn't get past my grief. After ten years, I managed it. Now, this grief, I will have until I die. No matter how long I live. I probably only have 5-7 years at best anyway. And I have no idea how I will manage to survive them. I not only lost Dale, I literally lost everything.

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